“YOU MAKE THE CUTEST WEST INDIAN NANNY”
-ELLE CLAY (April 2010)

for those of you who might not get that joke, it is very common in NEW YORK CITY to hire WEST INDIAN women to care for your children. i was unaware of that fact when i first moved to NYC and assumed all these women of color had just adopted these cute white kids.

Great, now i’m crying.

-MICHAEL “MIKEY” POSILLICO (3/29/10)

*i’m positive the entire english-speaking world by now (post BIGGIE) realizes that “conversate” isn’t a word…which is why i chose to change the category of “conversations” (checked below) to “conversate”. it’s funny. — thank you very much and have a nice day!

as the story goes (or how it’s usually interpreted) QUEEN VASHTI was married to KING AHASUERUS (king of PERSIA) and he liked to show off her beauty to the people. one night he called for her to show her beauty (naked), she declined and he replaced her with QUEEN ESTHER.

to some she is a HEROINE and to others she is just the trailer before QUEEN ESTHER came in and stole the show.

KING SOLOMON, my jewish hubby, just reminded me! he got that nickname of “husband” because when i lived with his best friend KUNLE, he would come over and order me around to make him food or get him a beverage! those were the days!

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KING SOLOMON: today is your holiday

ME: what holiday? PURIM?

KINGSOLOMON: yes fool. you are a disgrace to your namesake! it’s the only JEW-DAY you should keep track of.

ME: you’re a bad jewish hubby! you didn’t remind me. i’m dressed in costume and spinning my ra’ashan! are you and your brothers fam-a-lam doing it up?

KING SOLOMON: yes…everyone except me is super drunk. my brother is wearing a top hat. levelz.

ME: hahahaha! dope. well, i’m sober too…so, MAZELTOV!

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“HOME FOR PURIM” from “FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION”…hilarity at it’s best! (corrected!)

the new COOL KIDS music is too cool for school! CHUCK is a beat making monster that could really overthrow some notable producers. i’m excited for their new project and hope to be working with them on some magnificent visuals!

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*not a staring contest, but a mean mugging rap face contest. i think he won. i just looked like a scared lady on the elevator thinking he about to rob my purse from canal street.

RAUL: how’s VLADIQUEER

ME: he’s good, you bitch

RAUL: he looks like foxy brown with that coat, he’s banjee like that

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kitty might be living in the EAST VILLAGE, eating organic and using the toilet – but, he is STRAIGHT.

*VASHTIE, RAUL and OSCAR in LAS VEGAS (2008)

*photo by MEL D. COLE (2009)

on my last flight back from LOS ANGELES to NEW YORK CITY, i sat down on my VIRGIN AMERICA seat. next to me sat a blonde woman, who looked sleepy as most of use travelers did that day. i had placed all my jewelry in my pocket to avoid having to take it off for security and was now attempting to one hand clasp my vintage CHANEL bracelet (which is not real gold and beeps when i go through the metal detector). i can usually put it on with my eyes closed, but for some reason this moment was not it. LINDA, the woman sitting next to me – volunteered her help. rather than volunteer it, she just put out her hands and helped…quite like a mom would, and a mom – she was (i would later find out).

i was thankful and surprised by her generosity, since most people are content with ignoring when strangers need help. after a few minutes we were chatting like old chums. she told me she was from BRISBANE (Australia) and invented SECOND SKIN! yes, it took me about 45 minutes to really absorb what she was saying. even after that i couldn’t keep an attention span for discussing anything else. she showed me pictures of patients in the “AFTER” stage and asked me if i could see any skin flaws in the untouched photos. as a perfectionist who seeks out flaws, i found none. when she showed the “BEFORE” pictures of the same patients with large birth marks and burn scars – i was shocked. how life changing! this invention is wildly remarkable.

SECOND SKIN! for burn victims or people with skin conditions that have to use makeup or clothing to camouflage themselves, this whole new invention is a spray that matches your own skin…and breathes and feels like skin. LINDA figured out, through a computer program (she invented), the missing pieces of the chemical makeup of your skin and then creates it in liquid form. it lasts for a few days and sheds as your own skin sheds. you can also re-apply it yourself, with no need of professional help. it’s safe and natural – just brilliant.

her name is LINDA LOWNDES. she was just so humble and normal, not a tense doctor type. she’s not even a doctor, she just studied and set out to create something that would make people feel good. that’s so amazing. we exchanged information and maybe when she comes back to NYC we’ll get to hang officially!