Insecure Insights: What Goes Around Comes Around

Last week’s episode revolved around role reversal and this episode picks up exactly where Hella Shook left off. Before we begin, let’s take a moment to acknowledge the street parking scene. I cannot even begin to describe how annoying it is to wake up an hour or two before you actually have to just to move your car to the other side of the street. Running out the house looking all kinds of jacked up because knowing us we probably slept through the first alarm and woke up either just in time or a few minutes after street cleaning “begins”. Aside from Issa’s bus scene where she sees one of her students (that stole the snacks) riding along with her we’re also given a powerful screen grab at Issa’s shirt that reads ”The FBI Killed Fred Hampton”.  Quick history lesson, Fred Hampton was the chairman for the Black Panther Party of Illinois in the 60’s and was shot during a raid of his apartment in 1969.

The first scene that caught my attention was Issa texting Daniel. As I mentioned in the beginning this episode piggybacked off the turning tables one with Daniel reclaiming his time with Issa. Texting is the biggest nuisance of this generation. People make everything so complicated these days. Waiting for a response is almost as excruciating as pulling teeth. Things get taken out of context because it’s hard to determine a person’s tone over a screen. The three bubbles popped up insinuating a response, eagerness reads across Issa’s face only to go away a second later when the bubbles stop and Daniel doesn’t reply right away like she was expecting. Which had Issa in her feelings for a slight second. In my opinion Daniel could have very much wanted to hang with Issa, but then he remembered about Issa’s “we cool right?” comment as she followed up with telling Daniel she’s seeing other people. What goes around comes around. We can’t be mad at Daniel for that. I think he’s trying to balance his emotions when it comes to Issa because it’s clear he’s beyond feeling her. He later responds by saying he can’t hook up that night because he’s busy in a studio session. There’s been times I’ve experienced falling back off a guy because I felt like I either liked him too much, too soon or I was giving what I wasn’t getting and I decided to chill. While I might very much so want to spend time with that person, being too available is too open and I only allow myself to open up so much in the beginning.

Molly already making things bigger than what they seem. It’s obvious Dro can have sex with someone he cares about without it being anything more or less than what it is, but can Molly handle that? I don’t think so. Women don’t want to share men, we’re greedy. There’s a difference between knowing someone you just started seeing is also dating, than knowing someone who actually stands out in a crowd to you may get around. When you’ve shared private thoughts with this person, when you’ve grown with someone, when you connect and reflect with them you don’t even want to think about where they might have been. This explore chapter of their friendship was doomed from the start. Which is exactly why I didn’t want Molly to partake in having a fuck buddy, let alone that buddy be Dro. The only guy who seems to have ever been straight with her, to be there for her. He means too much to her and the idea she’ll cook up of him in her head will be too much for him to keep up with. She will ALWAYS come second to his wife and if she doesn’t get that now she’s got a long journey ahead.

Speaking of head, it’s intriguing to see where each friend stands on the matter of fellatio. I was surprised to find out Kelli (who seems to be the wild one out of the four) was against giving it along with Issa. Since this show started Tiffany has been portrayed to be the most bourgeois and stuck up when in reality, she is the most sexually liberated out of the group. “Black guys see you as disposable after you give them head. Like you’re forever a hoe after you do it.” says Issa. Meanwhile Tiffany was the advocate of going down on a dude. “There’s so much power in giving blow jobs. Every man is controlled by his dick, the closer you get to it, the more control you have.” trying to put her friends on game, Tiffany explains the value/power of oral sex. Issa doesn’t like doing it because she claims it’s “too intimate”, continuing on saying she has to “really fuck with a dude” to allow herself to put his penis in her mouth. Questioning her morals, Tiffany counteracts her contradicting statement and says, “but you don’t mind if a guy puts his penis in you?” Which makes total sense and I have to say I side with Tiffany on this issue. It’s a valid argument. Molly later chimes in by stating that she doesn’t lead with it, however she’ll return the favor if a guy goes down on her first. I am baffled listening to this entire conversation because these are women in their late 20’s or early 30’s talking here and yet it seems as if they’re in high school. First off, it isn’t proper sex if a guy doesn’t go down on you. That’s part of the deal and that’s also part of the reason why a lot of women aren’t as satisfied as guys because they allow themselves to be penetrated before they’re stimulated. Which is what sex is about, vaginal stimulation. It’s all about you boo, don’t get it confused. Issa seems to be more concerned about her image and it’s disturbing to hear the hypocrisy in her tone. She’s so worried about not coming off as a hoe, but here she is indulging in her hoe phase by putting niggas in her “hoe-tation”.

If you aren’t comfortable doing something then don’t do it. Period. However, I can see why Issa chose to try her new tricks on Daniel, it makes sense. She is comfortable with him the most so she allowed herself to be more vulnerable and intimate with him. After a job well done Daniel ejaculates on Issa’s face. Uncontrolled by the moment it just spilled out and Issa gets upset. She feels degraded, but on Daniel’s defense he did warn Issa he was about to cum. At that point you either open wide or dodge the bullet. There are some women who don’t mind it, but that is only because they are comfortable with the act they’re performing. It doesn’t make them any less of a woman, in fact it makes them more of one because they’re doing it for them, not the man. There is great power in seeing a man at his most vulnerable. Whether that be you on top of him or sucking his soul through your lips. Eye connection is intimate yes, as it should be. Sex is an act of intimacy. I personally didn’t see it as that big of a deal, but if that was Issa’s first cum experience I can understand her argument. That is something that should be discussed before it happens so situations like this can be avoided. Unfortunately, most people don’t talk about sex with their partners in fear of uncomfortability, which I’ve always thought was silly.

How can you be comfortable giving your body to someone, but not comfortable enough to discuss it? The matter in all of this is Issa’s anger towards herself. She isn’t really mad at Daniel. Think back to the Sexplosion scene where Issa shares her views on fellatio. She has this image instilled in her mind of who she is as a black woman and how guys look at black women who give head. Therefore when Daniel nuts on her she feels diminished to this image she created. Self sabotaging her situation with him. Being someone you’re not is her biggest downfall and we see it in every episode. She is falling, hard and fast because she cannot hoe correctly. This isn’t who she is. If you view certain acts as “hoe-ish” then why do it? What are you trying to prove and most importantly who are you trying to prove it to?


Was there ever a time you committed to a sexual act you later regretted? Can you remember why? Were you not ready at the time? Have your views on certain sexual acts changed over time? If so, why?

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